The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

Thoughts Part 2
Listening to: Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem

find your element
at mutedfaith.com.

So where was I last post? Hmmm, ah yes...

I realized I sustain myself by protecting my friends. Everyone has a reason they fight. Some fight through life for pride, others fight because at one point in life, they feel they failed for not being strong enough. Mine, I fight to protect those that make me happy.

I know that when I surround myself with friends who care about me, my problems seem to slip my mind. Elise and Dave have come to know me pretty well, and have learned what makes me tick. They both know my weaknesses, and they both know my strengths. Elise is the girl who helps me keep a straight mind amidst the hurricane of thoughts running in my head. She protects me because without me, she wouldn't have a big brother to protect her. I love that girl.

Dave, oddly enough is my other half. We think the same on a lot of personal issues. Him and I understnad each other because in an essence, we are the same person. Motivated by the same things, we often find ourselves either slacking or encouraged at the same time. Our humor is the same as well. This is what is beneficial about us being roomates. If he weren't here, I would just be laughing by myself, but we can make each other laugh, so we cheer each other up.

Molly is in a relationship with Ray now. It hit me hard when I found this out. I guess, in the back of my mind I always hoped she would realize what we had and would want it back. Now I see her with another guy, who she thinks she loves, and it's like watching our past be completly sealed away. I guess this is good, because if she doesn't want to be, it will force me to move on completly. The reason it hurts though, is I love her... still. Now I see her with a guy who has her and makes her happy. If she feels this way with him and let go of me so easily that means I must've failed. So now I have to figure out where I failed and why it happened.

I may see her in a week. As much as I am looking foreward to it, that I have been looking foreward to it, it is going to be different now. We have never seen each other when we weren't together with anyone. *big sigh*

Ashleigh and Yunyu came over last night. We ended up going to Mo'z in Muskegon. Mo'z is a mostly gay dance club. I was skeptical at first, but in the end I am glad I went. There were a lot of striaght people there. Yunyu and I danced all night. Damn, for being half my size I didn't think it would be possible to dance like that with her. We didn't get back until about 4:30-5 AM and her and I went to bed. I didn't sleep much. She was curled up to me and I layed staring at the ceiling. All night. I had so much crossing my mind. I like Yunyu. Last night was the first time I ever expressed it to her. I just don't know if it could work. Her and I have our reasons for coming to this same conclusion. None which I will post here. We figure it this way. By the end of the summer, everything is going to be figured out, and than if everything goes that way, we will try it then.

Ashleigh's coworker is turning 21 today and after work is having a party. She wants me to go with her. I don't feel up to it, but maybe I will meet some girl there. I could either stay home, and recluse myself, or go out and meet some people. God I am so warn out.

Yunyu and I talked for an hour tonight. I might walk to East Town and go see her tomorrow. We are going to go to the Anime Shop and some Garage Sales.

Well, I have a comic to finish for the comic site. Everyone check it out. I spent a long ass time redoing the template. New comic to be posted tonight as well.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 9:19 PM