The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

SUMMER!
Listening to: Whatever Dave has playing on the box.

I have neglected my blog for some time now. But while doing so I beat another videogame I own. One down, many to go. Musashi was an alright game but they botched the ending so bad. It irritates me. I give the game 2 out of 5 stars. The music was relaxing, the gameplay was straight foreword, the story line was just like the previous games, and it's pretty much a simplified version of the Japanese Folk Lore. Slash swing, and occasionally you would use your special move. Like I said, straight foreword. It was hard at times. In fact, the second stage I was stuck on for all of January, which is why I didn't defeat it until recently. I got frustrated and stopped playing it.

If you are looking for a game with a decent challenge, puzzles and a cool visual appeal, and can afford $20-30 to fork out for it, have at it.

Right now I am playing The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. I figure with Twighlight Princess coming out next month I should beat the only Zelda game I haven't beaten yet before I add another to the list.

I have been neglecting my FFXI Online account too. I should really pick that back up and get my stupid airship pass already. I have been playing that for 2 years now. Yikes. The new expansion pack just came out, where as I haven't even finished the first two.

I am glad school is done for the summer. I am still working at the library, which in a way blows. I am getting annoyed with that place. I have been looking for a new job this last few weeks. Perhaps a coffee shop. I enjoy serving customers and tips are always a bonus.

Mike moved back to Shelby. To compensate the other half of the rent, Dave moved in. It's cool having him as a roommate. We have been best friends since 6th grade. We always talked about escaping the clutches of Shelby and moving to Grand Rapids to find adventure. Well, we are both finally down here. He works at Discussions (the local gay hang out) and I find myself hanging out down there with him. Suprisingly, a lot of my friends from MS75 hang out there. People give me a funny look when I tell them that's where I hang out. BUT.. big but there... I think any guy would if he was hanging out with a group of Lesbians and straight girls all the time too.

*thinks* Two weeks from today, I will be 21. The big birthday of someone's lifetime. Wow, I won't be a kid anymore. I am an adult officially. I support myself, pay my bills, and live in my own place. Occasionally I need to run back to Mom for help. That's ok though. I think she likes knowing I can still turn to her. I will always be her little boy. Although, I have this pride issue where I like to try and be as independent as possible. Hence the reason all my things have the independence cross on them. I have kind of adopted that symbol as my own. I like crosses too.

This summer, Dave and I are going to get tattoos. I still want the cross on my arm. He is getting another, being he got his first one with Ryan in High School. He said something about a tat on his wrist. I hope to God it isn't like Joey's idea of getting a watch tattooed there.

I have been in a slump lately. It seems everything is hitting me all at once again. I am going to get a second or part time job to handle the bills. My heart is the one I really don't have any control over. I had my feelings for Molly locked away, ignored and hidden. After Katie and I broke up, Molly managed to reopen my heart and told me she would do anything to get me back. It gave me some kind of hope that she realized what we had, and it made me feel worth something to her. So I gave her another chance, but with a leary eye. I wasn't going to give in that easily. I mean fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. She betrayed me... us.. not just once, twice, but numerous times. I love that woman to death but I need to know for 100% that I can trust her again.

I have been talking to her a lot more recently. She called me one night, and I picked up on something right off. It broke my heart to think she was getting into that, although I can't be hypocritical. I just worry because she can't make good decisions as is. *sigh* I am so scared of her ruining her life. I mean, she didn't do so hot in school this year because of her new lifestyle. The Molly from High School wouldn't have let it slide. I am not the only one thinking so. Some of her friends and my close friends would agree. So I would try to talk sense into her, try to make her realize things but the more I tried, the more I failed.

I just want her safe and happy, and I knew when I was with her, she was. She hates tech, but not as much as I do. Brittany hates tech too, because it changed her ex Jack.

Anyways, recently she told me she would rather be with Ray than me. A KO to my open heart. Why did she open my heart just to do that!? Ugh, I have been trying to cope with it but I don't think I can. I either need to close my heart off to her, and find someone to replace that void, or drop her completely and decide until she learns what she wants. The thing about Ray is, some things he said about her piss me off, and she knows he said this stuff too. WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO BE WITH HIM!? I honestly don't see them staying together if they do hook up. She will get her heart broken and when that happens, where will I be? Will she come crawling back to me then like she did when she realized she was going no where with Aaron?

She could really regret this.

I went home this last weekend and hung out with Brittany until about 2:30-3 am at her place. We... "watched" Pride and Prejudice. We talked about a lot of things that night. She told me some things she hasn't told anyone, and I caught her up with my life this last year. Being she is home in Shelby, she wants me to come over and see her when I come home. I can tell she has grown up a bit since HS, but I think she is just as confused as Molly. She says she isn't with Jack anymore. Or so she tells me all the time. BUT, on Facebook and MySpace, both their profiles say they are, and they update those daily. Well, maybe I will ask Jack personally. I am not going to get involved with that shit, and be lied to the whole time. DAMN WOMAN.

Things between Katie and I are getting patched up, which means a lot to me. I enjoy hanging out with her and Elise. Me, Dave and the girls were like the four corners to my life. Hang out, movies, videogames, nerd stuff, and art. I was happy then. I wish I didn't fuck shit up there.

I'm a master at fucking shit up... what can I say?

Someone asked me why I always say "Love ya" to my family or Molly when I hang up the phone. I replied with "You never know if that will be the last time you get to tell someone that. You never know when or where something could happen. I always let the ones I love know that. It could be my last time to say it."

Well, I am going to go to NQ tonight, so I will wrap this up. Maybe next time I post won't be so far and in between.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 4:10 PM