The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

Shitty Weekend ... Seriously
Listening to:

Hurray for the worlds shittiest weekend.

Here we go.

My account is -$88.00 overdrafted. This is because 5/3 Bank types negatives different from my last bank on the online balance. ($88.00) as opposed to the -$88.00 I am going to go bitch after class. What happened was I was confused by this, payed rent and went over, then saw I had ($12.96) on Thursday. Being I left home at 8:30 AM and wouldn't be back untill about 9:30 PM I needed to buy myself lunch. I bought Subway. Cheap, near by, fast for my short lunch break. Then a pop at work. 5/3 charges like $25 for every overdraft. This sucks ass. Hopefully the cute girl that help me set my account up, and deposits my money for me will understand and wave it. Time to wear my best clothes and actually comb my hair.

Snow angel, my mom's white ferret, is dying we believe. She could barely walk, and wouldn't eat. I found mom crying in her room the other night. Buffy is getting old too. His back legs are giving out. I can't imagine my dog not being around anymore.

I didn't get a chance to work with Don as much this weekend. I got the entire weekend off so I could, and we only worked 6 hours Saturday, and 2 hours Sunday. This blows ass. Obviously not enough to cover my over draft and bills I need to catch up on. He gave me an extra 8 1/2 hours advancement that I can work off later, but that still leaves a lot of my bills to deal with. Pay day is over a week away. May not have phone or net much longer.

Trying to find a way home Saturday night as well. Easter being on Sunday, dinner with the entire fam. Might not make that either cause Dave says he prolly isn't going home being Easter isn't a thing he does with his family.

I am worried about Molly now too. The way to end my weekend. We didn't talk much cause her family was up there watching her performance. Tonight, we really didn't get a chance to talk either. She always has Ray, and Aaron around anymore it seems. Well, Momma's Boys in general. Never just her and I. I feel akward talking to her about problems when they are around and she just doesn't understand why.

Tonight Aaron was drunk off his ass. He got in a fight with his fiance Beth, and now Molly has him staying with her at her dorm. Go figure. He is older then me, and she still thinks she needs to take care of him. She is completly oblivious. Does any one else see why I am worried about her? Especially given the dark past those two have had?

I know we aren't together anymore, but I seriously do love her yet. I worry about her, because she was a big part of my life. I know now I can't be with her again ... Stuff like that would destroy us. Not just trust issues. Faith issues as well. She just doesn't see why I am so concerned though. Now I am running in circles with my point. I tend to do this I guess when I am worried. Loop da Loop.

I didn't have the supplies I need for my homework due tomorrow. Why? Because I am poor. So I will go to class and let the teacher do his thing. I could give a damn right now.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I stood in 2 inches of human fical matter today at work. Sewage line from last spring and the spring before that clogged up, yet again. The worlds shittiest, suckiest weekend, and I took it on like a man. Lost miserably.

Katie and I haven't really patched things up either. I started to just say fuck it, and get over her, but I found something interesting out tonight on the reason she has been so moody. I take sympathy towards her now. In fact, given what I know now, would I really have broken up with her?

Enlight of this weekends events, not having anyone there, I wish Katie would still hold me. That's what I miss the most about her. When she would hug me, and hold me, I felt renewed. That's what I want in a relationship. Compassion, trust, and loyalty. Why am I so bad at picking the right girl? Why can't I attract the winner?

Thank God for Elise coming over tonight. We sat on the futon and watched The Girl Next Door together. She would tickle me and poke me when I wouldn't be on gaurd. This would throw me into a coughing fit which she would yell at me to quit.

Oh yeah, I have been sick for over a week now. Lost 7 lbs because of it too. Ugh, thank God I have Thurs. and Fri. off from class. I could kill any body that fucks with me. Maybe I can get Elise to come over tomorrow night so I have someone who will listen to me and understand me. She is the only one anymore. I am glad she is my best friend. She is such a little bitchy sweetheart. She reminds me so much of Mom, that being with her is comforting.

(Don't worry Dave, you are my best friend too... like... heterosexual life mate)

Ya know what? When my 21st bday hits, I am getting so smashed I for once have a hang over, and can't recall half the night. I dont' care who thinks what. I am sure I could defend my case with pointing fingers. Molly will yell but look at her pride and joy Aaron... Mom would prolly drink with me if I bought, and I know Elise would LOVE to get trashed with me. Grandma and Grandpa drank too. ... That's my goal. I wonder if Danielle still wants to liquor me up that night? If not, Dave and I and Elise will prolly.

Fuck it, I am going to bed now.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 1:55 AM