The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

The Book of Esurience
Listening to:

This made me laguh my ass off. Dave and I have been slowly working on our MySpace accounts and Dave started using the journal system there. His post was on our quest for French Toast and well, the way he did it was hillarious. We were talking about "our quest" on our way to the store today. This is what he wrote.

The Book of Esurience

1 In the latter-most month of the two-thousandth and fifth year, Marc and David did wake up one morning.
2 And they said: "Lo, we are hungry!" 3 So they set about to make a great pilgrimage to the land known as Soopur Mahr-Ket, 4 knowing that there they wouldst find the ingredients needed to create breakfast.
5 After a time, however, David and his friend Marc grew lazy, and sat upon their haunches and deigned that they should play upon their computers instead.
6 And Marc said to David, 7 "Dude! We shalt wait until tomorrow for the French toast, for today instead we shall go out amongst the people and suffer ourselves to eat at the Chinese buffet."
8 Then David said to Marc, 9 "It is good."
10 And then they slept, but their dreams were fitful, for they could but taste French toast upon their tongues, and could but smell bacon which sizzled.
11 But the bacon didst not sizzle, for it still lay in the freezer.
12 On the second day when Marc and David didst awake, they said, 13 "Lo, we are hungry!" 14 And again they set about to go to Soopur Mahr-Ket, but after a time David sat down upon his haunches.
15 And he said, "Dude. I think I shalt eat the oreos which we have obtained instead, for they are good."
16 Marc said, "It is good, for we shalt lay in wait until tonight, and then if by chance our friends Katie and Elise arrive we shalt go to Soopur Mahr-Ket, so that we may make French toast and bacon for them."
17 But when night arrived, David and Marc sat upon their haunches and watched Kung Pow, which Elise did hate, 18 and thus everyone laughed at her, and called her retarded.
18 And Marc and David did not make French toast.
19 And then they slept, but their dreams were fitful, for they could but taste French toast upon their tongues, and could but smell bacon which sizzled.
20 But the bacon didst not sizzle, for it still lay in the freezer.
21 On the third day when Marc and David awoke, they said, 22 "Lo, we are hungry!" 23 And again they set about to go to Soopur Mahr-Ket, but after a time Marc sat down upon his haunches.
24 And he said, 25 "Dude."
26 And David did say, "What, dude?"
27 And Marc didst reply, "Let us go today to Subway, so that we may feast upon Bacon-Chicken-Ranch, and be appeased."
28 And David said, 29 "It is good, for the Bacon-Chicken-Ranch shall surely appease us." 30 And they did venture to that place called Subway, 31 but it was closed.
32 And Marc did say, 33 "Motherfuckers."
34 So they went instead to the land of the annoying singing gerbils called Quizno's, but that also was closed. So they went to that place called TGI Friday's, and there they did wait for an hour for their food, 35 and one of the waiters did most certainly look a lot like George Foreman.
36 And then they slept, but their dreams were fitful, for they could but taste French toast upon their tongues, and could but smell bacon which sizzled.
37 But the bacon didst not sizzle, for it still lay in the freezer.
38 On the fourth morning, when Marc and David did awake, Marc said, 39 "Dude. Today we shall have French toast, for we have most certainly been procrastinating for three days."
40 And David said, 41 "Let it be so." 42 And they did obtain eggs.
43 Then there was a great cooking of French toast, and a great sizzling of bacon. 44 And the food was good.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 8:11 PM