The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

*Insert Swear Words Here*
Listening to: A Fate Preordained

I had lots to tell on my next entry. About this last week or two. Me loosing my phone, almost blowing up, etc etc. I am going to skip most of it.

Thursday, the 3rd, MorningStar 75 closed. EARLY TOO. This really sucks. No more coffee shop groups. No more friends through that place. No more good times everynight there. I am going to miss that place deeply. I was a known regular. Somewhere I belonged.

Friday, the 4th, I was walking with Charlie and Talon to go to the ATM to get some cash so we could go buy dinner, sit at my place, and play videogames. On the way there, I realize my phone was no longer at my hip. Freaking out, I accused Charlie of having it. He laughed and said he didn't have it, ditto with Talon.

So I walked up and down Grand Rapids looking for it. I was out untill 3:30 AM looking for the damn thing before I finally got to cold, and walked my ass back to my apartment. I crawled onto my couch, and instantly fell asleep.

The next morning I awake to what sounds like a construction truck dropping it's load. I roll over and went straight to sleep again. Five minutes later, Anime Dave comes shooting into my apartment yelling "MARC, THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION ON THE FIRST FLOOR BY OUR ROOM. WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THE BUILDING! I AM GONNA GO AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE ELSE IS OUT. SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT!"

He then exited and I sat up out of bed. "Oh great... first morningstar, yesterday, now this. I don't even give a damn anymore."

I got out of bed and looked at the pair of pants at my feet. Nope, decided not to wear those. I kicked them out of my way, and made my way to the bedroom. Found my holy cargo's, and pulled those on. I waled back out into the living room, sat down on the couch, and reached around under it for my socks and shoes. This whole time, I am not rushing to get out, I am just doing it. I was not in the mood, and frankly, I had my fill of shit for the month arleady. And it was only the 5th.

As I stood up, I thought to myself "If my house were to blow up what things would I want to grab before leaving?" As I thought, the first thing that entered my mind was my Gameboy. Very pathetic I know, but that thing gives me my gaming fixes on the go. I grabbed my back pack with my sketchbook, and ran into my bedroom. On my dresser I have this picture of Molly, My Mom and I from my prom. I snagged that up too. A lot of things crossed my mind as I slid the picture into the bag. Stuff I decided not to think about providing my current situation.

As I walked back out of the bedroom, I went to my kitchen table. I found my leather racing jacket, my nike hat, sunglasses, smokes and keys. I was good to go. I had what I needed to survive. So I walked out into the pitch black hall. FIre alarm going off on the floor below us.

Eventually I made my way to the bottom. Matt met me in the parking lot, along with Dave and Kelli. As we are all standing around, Matt was like "SHIT, I forgot something in my apartment!" I decided to go back up and lock our door just incase people inside decided to pillage our place. As I locked my door, I went into Matt's apartment. We got some left over pizza, and walked out. Apparently, the site of Matt and I walking out of a ticking time bomb eating pizza was humerous. The fire department showed up about then.

Standing around, I got annoyed with life, and pulled out a smoke. I sulked as I realized I left my lighter in my room. So I walked over to the fire fighter and asked him for a light. Suprisingly, he had one. Heh. Kelli and Dave were just looking on in complete disbelief. I didn't care though. I was getting really annoyed with my shitty hands in life.

I called my mom at work and she was freaking out because a GRCC teacher found my cell phone. I still hadn't contacted her so she was worried about my where abouts. I was happy to find out my phone was only 4 blocks away and ready to be picked up.

Eventually, we discovered that what happened was the transformer box blew up and took the telephone pulls outside with it. Explosions... so big it knocked Dave and Kelli out of bed, and stirred me from mine. Aiy, that day ended with the biggest storm I have seen in a long time.

Now we fast foreward. A week or so later. I woke up yestersay morning after a few dreams. Some sudden realizations on my part. I am so down now. I don't know what I want to do. I know what I want and feel, and I don't know what I want at the same time.

I woke up wanting to go back to sleep. I didn't want to wake up unless I was waking up in my room in Shelby. My bedroom still decorated the way it always was. The only annoyance I had in the world was knowing I had to work 40+ hours a week. Being able to see my family and take care of my mom.

The late nights with Ryan and Dave. Playing Halo and beating each other up.

and...

waking up everyday believing she loved me, and knowing I found the one I wanted to be with forever...

Where did everything go wrong? Why did everything suddenly change on me!? I just want everything I love back.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 2:52 PM