The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

I could snap anytime now...
Listening to: Oh Brother Where Art Thou

Last night, I came home from class and a bunch of people showed up. It seems since MS75 is closed, our apartment is always busy. I haven't even had a chance to sit down and relax and play my new game without any interuptions. My tv and couch is always accupied. If it's not, my computer is, and there is always noise. I wish sometimes, I could come home and expect to find either just Mike or no one at all. I miss having quietness. All this contact with people nonstop is really starting to grind at me. Now it seems I can't get away from anyone anymore. Dave is always playing the computer in our apartment. When Amanda isn't working she is always up here, Kelli comes to see Dave but he is on the computer in our apartment. Phil and Kyle show up every now and then because MS is closed so they hang with Mike, everyone, and me here. I just wish people wouldn't just invite themselves over ALL THE TIME.

Mike and I pay the bills. We pay for internet, which I have to ask to use numerous times. We pay the electric bill and it seems everytime I come home, all the lights are on. The dishes are always dirty and piling up, counters always have food and shit drying on them. Food ends up laying in the sink. I feel like I am the only one who knows how to clean up after myself. When the house gets cleaned, it's because I clean it.

Last night, I chipped in half for a pizza. That means 4-5 slices should have been mine. SHOULD HAVE, being the key words. I got 2 small slices and then next thing I know, it's all gone. I couldn't study for my exam because of everyone coming over, using my internet, and talking, blaring music and watching tv. I couldn't even think or sit in my living room. I was about ready to go on a murder spree.

That's not the only thing bothering me lately. I have a lot of emotions spinning around inside of me right now. Next week, Molly is going to be in Shelby. It will be the first time I have seen her, since a few weeks before we broke up. Why do I want to see her? Everyone keeps asking me this. I have to bring closure or something to my broken heart. I have to see her one last time before I finally accept what has happened. Before I have to let her go for good.

I think Danielle is worried I am going to go back to her. She seemed pretty concerned when I talked to her last night. It makes me wonder what she really feels for me. Does she really get jealous or worried about stuff like this? It is so hard to read her. I am so confused about her as well. When I am with her, I am happy. I like to do things for her, and make her smile. I think for the first time in my life, I am scared of falling for a girl. I just fell down a cliff this last two months. Do I really wanna try climbing back up? I can't think... just so much noise.

*sighs* Stuck between Molly and Danielle, and I can't understand either of them. I don't understand what either of them want.

It was kinda nice to wake up today and see snow pouring down out of the sky. I have been waiting for snow for a while now. I hope the holiday season starts soon. I know the Christmas music has on the radio. There is a few other things eating away at me, but this seems to be the one crossing my mind often.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 9:53 PM