The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

Let me state my position...
Listening to: Look What You've Done by Jet

Ok first off... I wasn't trying to get a Blog War going. I was simply posting my thoughts and story of the horrible day of this trimester of the year.

I wasn't saying Molly was being a bad girlfriend. The only thing I made a complaint about was how I got upset when she jumped on the ball when Jared asked for pictures. Molly has NO CONTROLL whether or not these guys show up at her door, email her, call her, or message her out of the blue. Molly DID NOTHING WRONG. She has been more then a perfect girlfriend to me since December. She has changed and she has made me one of the happiest guys alive. Yesterday was just a series of unfortinate events (which hit shelves today ^_^). I mean seriously, if you look, I haven't had a really bad day like this in 1/4 of a year, which is excellent considering I live in Shelby where everything sucks most of the time. People make mistakes. Molly is a people. Just as anyone else is a people. Like most people, she was born. She grew up, had hardships, mental herassment, physical, emotional, just as we all have at one point. This is why we are allowed to make mistakes. Because we are people. We are human.

Molly I am sorry for not stating the what I thought was obvious. I still stand on my whole issue with Scott, John and Mark. I wasn't aware you didn't plan on hanging out with Scott. You just mentioned he wanted to become friends again and that was it.

As for Mark, I have EVERY RIGHT to be worried. To be scared. Look what happened a year ago. It was basic instinct, and mass fear that went through me.

John, he has a million $$$ and I know most people would be like "OOOO MONEY!" and run off to have fun. I am not saying Molly would. But money = power = control. We all know that. Girls = time = money = power = control. Simple equation. Right BeeDub?

I had every right to be scared Molly. I had every right to react the way I did. I just forgot to leave a note that it wasn't you. I am sorry, and the threat of "Next time... you won't like what will happen" threat you better repeal and think twice on it. I love you, and we wouldn't be in this situation if you would've listened to me a year ago. You need to realize that I wasn't pointing fingers at you, and I was only freaking out because of the way you put me.

Heather, Molly isn't bad. Molly is quite wonderful. Has she done more bad or more good to me? When you met me, I was the project result of Molly. I was happy, I was open, and I was finally at peace with myself. Not all relationships are perfect. They have their flaws and they have their good and bad times. You of all people should know this. Thanks for sticking up for me, but something like this isn't a reason to break it off with Molly.

Zach, I have heard your ... "opinions" on this from Molly. I have also heard more then what I expected to hear. You need to quit playing this two sided thing because you have told me numerous times "Man, I am just saying, be very careful, I wouldn't trust her." and I would say "But I love her, and I honostly think she is changing." and you would say "I know, but I am saying, I don't want to see you get hurt." I know I have convo's somewhere where you said this. I am sure I have emails and I know I have blog entries on my other blog about when you say that stuff. The whole "I trust you" thing you said to Molly was the biggest crock of bull I heard all night, and I work in a town of hispanic only speaking Hispanics that try to cheat you out of money. As for blowing things out of proportion, I didn't. I don't care what you or Molly think on that subject. I stated what was on my mind and the way I saw it. Enough said to you.

Brian, good mediator. *cheers* When you coming home.. I still wanna know...?

Now, for my day. I hate Baseball games. I hate having to ring Beer and Liquer up all the time because everyone in this town has to have their alchohol at the game or after work EVERYDAY. I was busy non stop for 6-7 hours. Thankfully, Catherine let me have some nice breaks where one time I finally got to talk to Molly. Granted it didn't help my night at all because of her being pissed at me about the last entry, Zachs words of advice to her, and Heathers words of advice to me. She let me go on a bad note and a 'threat' about this situation. Not something I needed to hear. Maybe she will be better tomorrow. Aiy... great day.

I awoke to Ryan making loud squeeky noise and screaming "Marcus wake up my nigger!" in a high voice. He wanted me to run to Muskegon with him to return his computer (third time this month... go figure) and then go to lunch at Chen's with him for some Chinese grindage. He said he would pay and I figured "Hell, I'm up now... I need food, sure!" So we had a good time. Aiy. And of course I got home to find all of this blog battling. I went to work so I didn't get a chance to read it.

Jumping around, I know. After work I grabbed a capochino, and drove home. The whole way home I was in a recap phase. The thoughts of "I want to shut my door and barrage myself from my friends, family and the world" ran through my head. When I got home, I picked up Susan, who is amazingly still alive. She was barely breathing and I bathed her, hand fed her, and hand watered her. Then I held her and tried to confort her. I wish I could just make things better... or just end it. But I don't have the will/heart to do so. Her eyes were horribly red, bloody and puffy. *sigh* I am never getting another rat because I couldn't cope with this again.

Now I sit here, after editing my last post, deleting each comment, and typing this post. I am going to slip away from reality and play FFXI. I know there, even when things go wrong, there is always a "Restart at HomePoint" option. My loss is 8% of base experience.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 12:07 AM