The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

Thoughts
Listening to: Away From Me by Puddle of Mudd

I stared at the stars in the nearly black, blue tinted sky. So many, bright, dim, big, small, cluttered and lonely stars. Adjusting my farsighted eyes to a panoramic view, I could make out the vastness of space. Flowing through the sky, seemingly unnoticed, was the dim white "milky way". I imagined one of the gods in the constilations riding across it like a road leading through this endless field of stars.

I thought to myself of how ignorant people could be to believe we are the only one planet in this entire universe to sustain life.

I layed there, on the top of the old radar tower, just a quarter of a mile from my house, gazing at the sky afar. We were on the highest point of Oceana County. The tower itself is close to 200 feet tall, if not more. The hill is 40-50 feet above the field I live in. We live a mile up hill out of town, which is at sea-level. So we were pretty high up. We meaning my close friends Bob and Mike. Bob has been up there a few times now. Mike heard of our adventures and finally wanted to climb it. To we did.

The wind blew through my long, brown and blonde hair. I sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees, and glared into the darkness of the night making out some orchards, and the familiar surroundings of the forest. I pointed out to my friends some of the land marks around us. To our south was Muskegon. A big city about a 30 minute drive away. To our north, you could easily see Hart, Silver Lake and the edge of Ludington. To our west was Lake Michigan. In the daytime you could see it, but at night, it blended well with the dark siluets of the trees. There was no full moon that night, like the previous times we had climbed it, which made the climb more difficult. We couldn't use our flash lights because the owners of the old government run tower lived down the road. Didn't want them to freak out seeing lights on the tower.

I layed back down. Bob and Mike followed.

"A shooting star! WOW... That was the first shooting star I have ever seen!"

I replied with "You don't look at the stars much do you? I see them all the time. Sometimes in one night I can count nearly 40 of them."

"No... I never have an opportunity to sit out and look at the sky."

How sad I thought. Such a wonderful gift that seems to be so free to the ones who could obtain it. I love the stars. Infact, I am not much of a scientist. My grades sucked in that area, but whenever we studied the solar system, I was raking in the points. If not for my artistic abilities being more advanced, I would've become an astronomer. My dad was a genius in this area. Anyone who actually knows my dad wouldn't believe me if I said that though. Before he went to prison, he was in college studying many things. Everyone of my family members around here fail to see the intallectual side of my dad. He is really smart, and studied many things. In prison he is taking college classes and hopes to start his own tree farm, and maybe even create some trees of his own when he gets out.

Bob asked "Did you ever wonder if while we were laying here, looking at the stars, there was someone else on some high place look at us from a different planet?"

It made me wonder. What a great thought though. There are more stars in the sky then grains of sand on this planet. Yeah, I believe there are other lifeforms. I have to. THe evidence and chances are against anything else.

We climbed back down the tower and took the main road back to my house. The three of us walked along the edge of the road, talking. As we walked, I couldn't help but wonder what Molly was doing.

While ontop of the tower, we talked about a place where you could "Buy a star... and name it." I thought about naming one Molly. That way I could look at it and think of her. I even thought of naming reunion, or something along those lines. Molly and I could both just stare at that star everynight, and in a way, be with each other. I took a big sigh of what was a lot like the feeling of depression. I missed her. I missed her a lot.

If you think you have had your share of challenges in your life, and you have yet to have a long distance relationship, then you have yet to experience one of the hardest. It's very hard. Something that takes a lot of trust, willpower, and devotion.

I learned throughout my life, trust is one of the most fragile things in the world. It's hard to regain any trust once it has been dropped, smashed or crushed. When you have people message you online saying things like "Your girlfriend isn't faithful to you. She is a whore... she lays all over other men, she makes out with guys, and then turns around and tells you lies. Stories... things that make her seem innocent and in the wrong place at the wrong time. She is lying to you..." It's horribley painful and hard. Attack wounds to the heart. To my very soul. I couldn't believe these "stories"... I refused too. At times though, my easily awakened distrust in others digs at these stories and they attack me. I can't help but wonder...

I caught myself looking at the ground as I walked, upset by these scenarios. The face I had on would've made my friends worry, so I changed it and laughed with them. It's what friends are good for.

The night went on, and we had fun. Forgetting of all my fears, and all my distrust. I am who I am, and my friends accept me for that. Although, if someone were to live a life in my thoughts for one day, I think being foreign to that territory would give them a shock. So many thoughts, so many stories, memories, and events. Secrets. Mine and others. So much I hold deep inside. This is my life...

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 6:35 PM