The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

A story not many people know.
Listening to: The Freshman by The Vervepipe

Ok, so the other night, while talking with Molly, I mentioned my dad. It came to my attention that a lot of people in the last few years have asked me about my father. So here is the story.

When I was going on 3, my mom and dad started fighting. My dad became an alcoholic because he was running away from some problems, and he thought drinking would make them better, instead of facing them head on. When he was drunk, he was an ass. He threw me through the air at the wall above the sofa cause he was mad. After that, mom grabbed us, and we came to Michigan to live with Grandma and Grandpa. The divorced and Joey and I grew up here. Every year, dad would come up from Chicago, where he had moved to, and re-married, and pick us up and keep us for a week in the summer. Well, when I was in 7th grade, it was the last time I saw my dad. He and my mom got in an arguement, and he stopped getting in contact with us for 4-5 years.

It was a hard time of my life. I must've changed so many times in that 4 years. Towards the end of my junior year, I recieve a message on MSN from my father. He searched my name on the internet and found my website and contacted me. He told me he was going away for a long time. So a few weeks went on, and he fianlly told me why he had to go away.

In December 2001, my father was drinking and driving home. A car ran a stop sign and the driver (who was a fire fighter... remember this was the time they were lifted up and honored too....) was killed. In the back seat, he had three kids. These kids though were his kids with another girl he was with, while cheating on his wife. They were fine, but not only did he die, the wife found out too. Lot's of pain in that part of the family. My dad, being he was drunk and it was his 3rd offense, was arrested and for 2 years battled in court, spending 100's of thousands of dollars trying to fight. The outcome came to :
tried guilty - 14-20 years in prison
tried innocent - 6 years
pleaded gulty - 8-9 years.

Dad didn't want to take his chance. He pleaded guilty and took the middle time. In March, he came up, and for the first time in 4-5 years, I got to see him. He took us to Subway, and we sat and talked and caught up. There was so much I wanted to show him. All my accomplishments... the computer I built.... my room, my art... everything. But, he wouldn't come to my house. When he was driving us home, he dropped us off at the main road. When I asked why, he said when he was on the phone with my mom, Justin came on and said "If you even set foot in this yard, I will march out there and beat the shit out of you... You don't belong here!!" That's when my hate for Justin maxed out. My dad missed 4-5 years of my life, and I couldn't even show him what has become of me. Then it hit me. My dad was going to miss more then that. He was going to miss my 18th birthday, graduation, college, college graduation, and prolly my wedding and first kid.

I really wanted a father... through my whole life, I had a void, where I was lonely, and I didn't have anyone to teach me anything, take me to a game, tuck me in, teach me to shave, or anything. I had mom. I'm not saying she wasn't good enough. it's just, without a father... things are different.

I really hope I do a good job as a father. I don't want my kids to go through what I did....

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 10:04 PM