The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

Where do I start

So many things I wanted to talk about in a post last night, but ended up being pre-occupied with finding something else out. Now, as I move through this day, I can feel my heart shaking in fear of being betrayed and hurt again. I know I have caught myself questioning the whole theory on love, and whether or not I was made to be loved by someone today. What I thought was a simple little lie, that had come clean, has turned into a bigger lie. I love her to death, but now I am affraid of being lied to. Its happening again. Just as the relationship with Charity started out all dreams and happiness, which all ended up turning to lies. Molly... did you lie to me again? I am so confused right now. Are you confused too? Think back to last week, and the thing I asked you... you told me "kissing, and thats it...." And you promised me. But, at the same time, do I trust the source that I heard it from. It wasnt even our topic of conversation. I just mentioned how last week I was hurt really bad, and it went from there. I don't care if what he said happened, thats the past, what I care about is the fact that you would lie to me, when I asked you to come clean about it. If you read this, please get online tonight... we need to talk.

I think I am going to change the subject quick because that was turning into a public forum for our private problems. I am not going to erase it though because people have been asking me whats wrong, or what I am thinking about all day. Another subject... Thunderstorms... ahh yes. Last night a thunderstorm came in accross the lake and I played in it (untill it got really dangerous, then I took off into the house). Eventually, Marble sized hail started falling. Amazing. Spring is coming... *is excited now*. And if you don't know me as well as many fortunate others, I love thunderstorms. Everything about them. I love watching them, and sitting in them. They bring me to a world where my heart is at ease, and excitement runs through my vains instead of dreary thoughts and vague displays. A thunderstorms cries out a sound of pain and hurt so I don't have to. Does anyone else like thunderstorms or feel the same way I do?

I was also thinking of how inconsiderate people can be of others. But I was thinking from the accused persons side. We need to stop and take into consideration that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Take into consideration that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children, who she may never get to see. Why are people always about themselves. If everyone took time to stop and think of the other persons position, what kind of world would we live in then? Sorry... just something that has crossed my mind a few times this week. I'll post again tonight.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 12:48 PM