The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

o_O WOW...

All I can say is, WOW. This has to be the most exhuasting Xmas break ever. It was awesome, untill I recieved some terrible news yesterday while I was at Molly's. Dustin, who is somehow family, cousin I do believe, I grew up with him. He died yesterday. He went to his fathers house (his parants are split apart) and when his father awoke in the morning, he found Dustin laying in the chair. He kicked the chair and said "Hey bud, let's get going." He didnt answer... so he did it again. Nothing. They did the autoposy today. No sign of drugs, which I thought I might have been. The poor kid was getting himself into the wrong stuff the last time I seen him, which was about 4-5 years ago I believe. Him and I have grown apart since we were kids, but just the thought of knowing someone important to me in my childhood and even now is no longer alive. The world has a strange way of taking and giving, but its the lack there of between us that I am not as upset as I normally would be. I found out at Molly's last night. I sat and prayed for a few for him and his family. May you rest in piece my dear old friend.

I wanna move away from this sadness. I know I may seem cruel as to try and forget it, but I know I can't do anything more. I wasn't as close to him as back then. We were so apart, that when my aunt said "Dustin died..." it took me literally a half a minute to realize who she was talking about.

Let's move on to the rest of the week before this...

I went to Charlotte, North Carolina and I had an awesome time. I packed in time. Mom drove me to the church where I was to meet Darren, Josh and Maria. We drove three hours to Merril Wesleyan Church to board the Greyhound buss'. While standing in the crowd, I noticed a familiar face or two. Christy and Tracy! They were there. It was great getting to see them again. I haven't heard from Christy in forever. I talk to Tracy on occasion online. We sadly were split into two buss' and I didnt get to talk to them again till we got off the buss'. Bummer. Josh and I made a mistake sitting in the front of the buss. No leg room. lol. I got the window seat, which I couldn't figure out how it was better then the isle seat. Josh said it was... I would have loved the isle seat, if it had a light so I could play gameboy and read. Thus I suffered legroom for entertainment. I stayed up all that night, the whole drive. Made a lot of friends. Linda was the main 'person' (almost said girl, but didn't to avoid a screaming by Molly, read on) I talked with. Everytime Josh and said something we had the whole bus laughing at us (with us?). It was great. I had an obsession with the red help button.

We arrived at the hotel(s) after about 16 hours of departing from Merril. Exhuasted I pushed to stay awake as we were lead into the luggage room to wait for the rooms to be prepared. I took a 30 minute nap ontop of my luggage... then I went and sat with Christy and Tracy and their friends Amanda and Kaity. Tracy had her older sister with her on the trip (Mandy I believe her name was) and Kaity had her mom. Kaity is an old friend of Charitys from camp. Thats why I recognized her. Since Andrew has come along though, I think they have grown WAY apart. I played BS (card game) and talked and laughed with them. After about 2 hours we finally got our room. I unpacked my stuff into the dresser and took a shower. The rest of that night is black to me. I can't quite remember what we did when we left. Darren and Josh showed up and we walked what seemed forever to get food from a conveniance type of store. I bought a bag of Doritos and Cheese dip and Dr Pepper. I love junk food. And I love meditation. I stayed awake with the help of both. I meditate alot during the school day just to stay awake. I am a night owl and I belong in college. I do remember going to bed about 3 and waking up around 8 though. *laughs* That morning Josh thought he would start drinking coffee. *snicker* Should have seen his face. I went to the service they had, jammed to Switchfoots concert (fricken awesome punk band) then worshiped. Seminars yadda yadda, then evening service. Out of Edin played... not my style of music. Instead of going to the carnival they had after words, I went back to the room. I changed into my pajama's and then went to Christy and Tracys floor and layed in the hall with them and talked. I love being a flirt. The security gaurds were freshman college students from Canada and everytime they said something I would hassle them. They let us stay in the hall until 11:30 then said we had to go. Oh well. Sleep, not much though. Woke up and repeated the previous days events. Except I sat alone because I never made contact with the girls that morning, and Josh was looking for his GF. It didn't bother me sitting alone though. I was in a dead lock on what the speaker was talking about. I have never heard such sermins. These guys were awesome. I wish they had them on CD's for sale. The worship music was out of this world. I can't even begin to describe how awesome this event was. 8000+ Christians from around the nation and Canada (some even from Japan) were there. After the service, I walked around Charlotte and got lunch at Burger King. I took it back to my room and ate. After a 30 mintue nap, I walked around Charlotte some more. Absolutly nothing to do except look at the sites. No stores or anything. The nearest mall or gift store was a 30 min walk away from the area. Bleh... thats where the girls went. I am not that dedicated to shopping.

That night, it was the long awaited Supertones concert. BWAHAHAHA! I was in the front of the crowd and he slapped my hand! Just the finger tips though -_-. Josh and I were being squashed by crowd wedgers (people who push forward then fall back in order to wedge their way through the people). There was a time where I was trying to protect this little 8 year old girl from being killed by the raging fans trying to get close to the band. After about 3 minutes and me screaming at the morons behind me, the father finally got her in his protection again. The concert was awesome. Josh and I got to hang out and talk with most the band, and I was worn out pretty much after that. That nights service was a blow out service, and I ended up getting down on my knee's to let a problem I have been holding onto for the last 2 years go. The floor was sticky and my new pants, backpack, and student card got covered in what I hope was hot chocolate. It was the last night, and the girls wanted to go somewhere else for dinner. I went back towards burger king and just as I got there, they locked the doors. No more customers... darn. So I started back towards the hotel, and I found Darren on the way there. We decided him and I would get dinner in the lobby of the hotel. So while sitting there waiting for our food, Darren went and flirted with the security gaurds. LOL. What a guy. I called mom on the cell phone, and told her how everything was. Being it was the last night, I was 'surprised' by the girls with a present. Silly string... except I had to get the can from them. Silly string everywhere... lol.

The ride home was so much better. We were the first on the bus, so we got the back seats. Lots of leg room. I played Gameboy for a long while, when a lady came and sat with Darren. Her and I talked for a good 2 hours. She was amazed by my talents, which made me feel really good about myself. She liked my art, my music, my accomplishments, plans for the future and my theorys and theology. What she said next gave me an ego trip. She said that I was hillarious and that all the girls in the front of the bus loved me. Especially on the way down. Long story with that too. To make it short, I was being goofy and messing with everything around me. I cracked jokes at what was on tv, and made comments about the scenary outside. I then stood up and started singing, "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar" and taught it to the bus. So we played that. LOL. I loved that trip. And I had Molly to look forward to. But, it was like god was making it tough for me to get to her. Our bus started to leak Diesel. We were covering vehicles behind us with it. An off duty Sheriff pulled us over. So I thought we would be stranded there. Nope, they took the people off bus one and put the people who had a long drive home on it. SO I made it to the church. But Darren then came to me and said, "we might be staying at the church tonight being we will get back so late". I was like, O_O, LIKE HELL! So we drove home and I finally got to bed about 4, only to get up at 8 am to go to Mollys.

Molly's!!!!!

I didn't actualy leave here untill about 11. Then I went back to Brians and sat for about half an hour. We left and took our time going there. The road trip is always the best part. We sang and listened to music like the rejcts we are the whole way down. Finally we got there. OMG, it was so great seeing her. New Years Eve was the best this year, and I have Brian to thank for it. If it wasnt for him, I would have never been there. When the New Year rolled around, we celebrated with a kiss. But, its not like we weren't kissing before hand anyways. Everything was perfect there. Her parants werent going to kill me, Brian wasnt trying to kill me this time, and I had Molly attatched to my side the whole time. I even got to meet Matt and Eric, and their girlfriends. Matt has the same birthday as me. Awesome. The kids likes alot of the same things I do to. Bwahahaha. May people rock. After New years came, I fell asleep after watching Finding Nemo with her. I woke up to her to. It was seriously perfect. She came down to my room in the mornings and would cuddle with me. It has been 2-3 years since I got that. *warm smile* But, with mornings come bad breath, so eventually I had to crawl out of bed to brush my teeth in order to get a kiss... lol. Leslie, Molly's friend had left early that morning, so it was now just Molly, Brian and I. Everyone got showered and dressed and we all went out. Molly, Brian and I went to the mall. Got lost there. Big mall. I learned something about Molly, that I like, even though it effects me. She doesnt like strong PDA. What a girl huh?

After finding our way out of the dungeon that is the mall (only a dungeon if your broke), we drove to Best Buy, then home (her home). The rest of the day was made up of me playing the guitar and finally playing the song I wrote for her (I even sang!). I hope she liked it. I think she did. Brian did, I know that. I want to see if Mr. Wall will help me record it to CD so I can send it to her. Lots of cuddling, clingng, laughing, and kissing came after that. Her sister is also really cool. She is a seventh grader, but for being a seventh grader, really cool. I kept calling her sailor moon because she reminded me of her (skinny, blonde girl with wild hair and is animated).

So, thus, I fell asleep again, another great day, and awoke to start the next. I woke up with like 20 mintues to get ready and leave to the science museum. Thank god their family is like mine. You say you want to leave by 9 but really 10:30+ is when you leave. That musuem was awesome. Lots of stuff to play with. heh heh. I like hands on learning. Anyways. I was bummed because Molly had to baby sit that day 3-whenever. But, I didnt let it bother me because I had a gut feeling it would fall through. It did. They ended up calling someone else to do it. Thank you god!!! Another day of laying around, playing guitar, talking, cuddling and laughing. That night, I layed on her bed, and it got to be really late. Her mom came up and told us bed time. I was bummed, knowing I had to leave that next morning. Bah... it sucked saying good bye... but it is helping me finish the song I am writing for her. The next morning though, I woke up with Molly in my bed. She crawled into bed with me and I laid there for a while with her. Holding her is relaxing. A peaceful wave over me. When I finally got out of bed and brushed my teeth (got have my kisses >_<) and packed, we loaded the truck up. I got some instant photos of us together and we said our goodbyes. Spending those 3-4 days with her were heaven. I can't wait to do it again. She also got me a shirt and bandana for my ferrets... they are so cute!!! My mom loved them too. Now I am in order to hive her a big hug and kiss. Molly is such a great gal!

Now I am exhausted. Lack of sleep and use of lots of emotion and energy have literally wore me down to my inner threads. I think I am going to go and take a nap.

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 11:27 PM