The Journey Is More Important Than The Beginning Or The End.

I Need The Strength

I hate being sick. I just lost the ability to swallow for the day. Oh well... I go back tot school tomorrow, and I give my Senior speech. Its almost done, and Xmas break is almost here. But, this is already a stressful week.

I am worried. Worried about someone who I love alot. Her beliefs in so many area's just bother me to the point where I am affraid. I am affraid that if something bad happens... its "fate". What if my heart is broken cause she thinks fate is at hand...? What if 3 of these guys I fear and hate so much desided to make themselves fate, as she would call it. Oh god... thats exactly why fate is such a... misunderstood word. Its why I don't believe in it. What's to stop one of these 3 guys, or any other guy decide to do anything... what if I loose her!? What if this fate wants to destroy my life all the way this time. Push me over the edge instead of to it this time. I'm confused and stressed. But I know.... I know I just need to push on...

In other notes... I am horribly sick. I hope this is the peek of it. My eyes just got watery and throat closed up. No more vommiting though. Now I have gallons on orange juice to drink by request of me and compliments of dear old 'mommy' as she would. She talked to Molly briefly tonight, with me of course over her shoulder telling her to ask Molly about the 31st. Didn't work. Hmm, aslo... I would like to note just in case they read this... Mark or Scott.... I will kill you two if I ever see you. mmm, that felt better. So much. Anyways. I stayed home today and so did Joey (his excuse was dumb though) . He fell threw a roof a few days ago, and claimed his muscles hurt. So he did what he would have done in school, sat there and used his hands. Bah, at least I cleaned the house for dear old (eeek, not old only like 40) 'mommy'.

I also pulled out Final Fantasy VII, a game where 'fate' is actually real, and leaves you with so many theories and questions. I really recommend this Playstation 1 game. Best in its class. It's [eM] approved. So I played that for about 10 hours throughout my day. I also finished the video download for Angel Sanctuary (took me 3 weeks with this crappy connection). Just as it got down to the last 10 secs, I was like "If its a bogus file I will be pissed!" I open it up and guess what... Its a fricken Angel series episode. GAWD. Shoots fricken rockerchic@gagooza.com in the head. What the hell.... I want cable....

I will end on a happier but not much happier note...

Blogged by Marcus Morris at 10:16 PM